Monday, July 10, 2006

What A Waste Of My Pieces Of Eights!!!

(Thats the way to the exit! Get out of here before you're bored to death! Argh!)

I may have just watched the worst film i've ever, ever seen. Pirates Of The Caribbean - Dead Man's Chest may be the biggest selling movie in its first three days but it is a big pile of shite. Never have i seen a movie that is so mind-numbingly pointless, ridiculous, boring and unfunny since, let me think..... actually i dont think i've seen a film this awful in my life. The plot jumps and skips about between ultra-long and unbelieveable events, i say events because plot, story or twists never even appeared in the two and an half hour picture. Kiera Knightly plays a damp, pouty, badly acted fish, Orlando Bloom is as wooden as the plank he should be walking and Johnny Depp, well Mr Depp tries but his attempt to make this funny was falling down some stairs, which was the funniest and my favourite bit of the film, but still he doesn't come anywhere close to saving this film. I just wish they had said at the start that this was just gonna be a 150 minute long build up to the next film, cos i would have just waited for that because this film does nothing and it won't affect my watching of the oh so predictable follow up, which i definately won't be seeing now. Don't go and see this if you have anything better to do with your life, like trainspotting or watching slide-shows or listen to old people talk or listening to a whole Embrace album or listening to a whole Embrace song or watching Wales play football or counting the number of hairs on your cat or doing one of those uber-big sudokus or sitting by yourself for two and a half hours, poking yourself in the eye, with a beansprout, it's just not worth it.

Staying on a swash-buckling theme, check this song out by a Sheffield based duo called Slow Club, its very kooky and simple but the harmonies and lyrics are so catchy, entertain and brilliant that you'll be singing along in no time at all. Have a listen to their other song on their myspace and i guarantee you, you'll keep going back to listen to them over and over again.

Slow Club - Pirates


At 8:27 PM , Blogger Master Jedi Michael said...

Dude, Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest was one of the BEST movies ever. You need to pay more attention to movies and you'd realize that.


At 4:52 AM , Blogger Tim said...

i pay alot of attention to movies and this film was just ridiculous through and through. This was a subjective review you know, just my opinion, i know alot of people who really liked it, but it just didn't do anything for me

At 12:34 AM , Blogger michael said...

I thought it was about 60 minutes too long! and now we have to wait for Pirates 3 to find out what happens- they must be joking!

At 6:15 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

you're fucking stupid! don't critisize so much if u're too dumb to understand the movie. blame it on yourself, idiot!

At 12:45 PM , Blogger ......jOHN said...

i agree potc 3 was a let-down but more importantly the song has expired. could you please re-up it? slow club are amazing


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